Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Penny Flame: Flame on!



Penny Flame is my favorite porn star. She’s satisfied more guys than Monday Night Football. The things that she can do with her mouth, I can’t even do with my hands. She’s fuckin’ hot. She has that cute little girl scout look. If she was younger, I’d be a pedophile. She has an amazing body – nice natural tits and a nice shiny ass that you can see your reflection in. And she has a nice vagina. Her vagina looks like a slice of watermelon with a Brazilian wax. I’d eat that watermelon any day. I wouldn’t brush my teeth for a week. Plus Penny has that red/brownish hair and freckles that make her look like a sex crazed Punky Brewster. I’ve only seen two of Penny Flame’s movies – 12 on 1 two starring Lee Stone and Nasty Girls Masturbating 5. Once I saw Penny Flame, I was a fan. She sucks dick like there’s an antidote in it. And she fucks like someone out for revenge for the brutal murder of a relative. Watching her sex scenes make you orgasm in 30 seconds and leave you with a big mess on your hands.

My ultimate dream is to fuck the shit out of Penny Flame. I dream of me and Penny having sex at my mom’s house when she’s not home. I would send Penny a letter telling her how much of a fan I am and how much I love her work. I would also send her a picture of my jaw-dropping penis. Once she sees my penis, that’s when she decides she wants to fuck me. One day she unexpectedly arrives at my doorstep in a sexy red dress with clear high heel shoes. And she’s not wearing any underwear. I open the door and I’m shocked. I can’t believe it’s Penny Flame. That’s when she says to me, “So, you’re my biggest fan. Let’s fuck young boy.” Then I say to her, “Who you calling young boy? I’m the same age as you. Come here you little bitch.” Then I lift her by her legs into my arms and carry her to my messy room. I close the door and throw her on my water bed. She bounces off the water bed and falls to the floor. I pick her up and undress her. My penis is hard enough to cut diamonds at this point. I sit her naked body on the bed and then I undress. We start kissing and touching each other. I suckle on her breasts like a baby being breastfed. And I say, “Mama. Mama. Titty good. I like titty.” Then I kiss her stomach, belly, and thighs. Then I go down on her and eat her pussy like it’s pizza pie. After I make her moan, shake, rattle and roll, she decides to go down on me. That’s when she starts sucking my cock like it’s an oversized lollipop. After an hour of sucking my cock, I pull her off and lie her on the bed to penetrate her. I stick my big Hercules dick in her tight wet pussy and ejaculate in less than 2 minutes. Her pussy is so good, I don’t even have the chance to try the other sexual positions I had hoped. Afterward, we both fall asleep on my water bed. When I wake up, Penny has left and my dick is sore and needs an ice pack. I go to take a shower and thank god for making me fuck Penny Flame. That is a day I’ll never forget. But it’s a dream and this will never happen. I’ll keep dreaming about one day fucking Penny Flame. What does Penny Flame think about me one day having sex with her:

Kiss my ass Maccorley!



Saturday, August 02, 2008

Lindsay Lohan and her man

I decided to create a photo album for Lindsay Lohan and her boyfriend Samantha Ronson. Here it is:


LINDSAY AND SAMANTHA: SHE AND SHE-MAN



Here's Lindsay and Samantha demonstrating how they use their fingers in bed.



Here's Lindsay giving Samantha a Blow job.



Here's Samantha spinning records while Lindsay is high on drugs.




Lindsay and Samantha eating out, instead of eating in.




Lindsay and Samantha laughing and drunk driving.



Lindsay giving her man a goodnight kiss.



These two just can't keep their hands off each other. How romantic!


THE END

Barbara Walters: Living Corpse


Barbara Walters Here & Now


I was watching television the other day and I noticed that Barbara Walters is still alive. I thought she was dead after all these years. But she’s still alive. Amazing! That must feel weird when all the people from your era is dead and you’re the last person standing. Barbara Walters looks like the crypt keeper. She has to be over 100 years old. She’s a walking mummy. She looks like she still uses Clap on lights. Clap on! Clap off! Clap on, Clap off, the Clapper.