Tiger Woods Cheated, So What!

Everybody thinks Tiger Woods is wrong for cheating on his wife with several different women. I think he's right! He's Tiger Woods. He's rich, famous, and good looking. Women want to bang him and his bank account. He has all these women swarming over him like flies on shit. How can he pass up the opportunity to bang all these women? If I was rich and famous like Tiger and had all these women over me, I'd have sex with them too, even if I had a wife. I'd cheat on my wife everyday. I'd cheat right in front of her. I don't care!

We would never have known that Tiger Woods was a cheater if all these women didn't snitch on him. Bunch of tattletales! All these women are coming out of the woodwork like cockroaches to tell the media they had sex with Tiger. Tiger Woods picked the wrong girls to cheat with. He should've did his research and found girls who would've kept their mouths shut after banging him and going on special vacations. He should've cheated with hookers, although some of these women are hookers because they got money and gifts for having sex with him. Maybe he should've made them sign a court approved Confidentiality agreement.

Some of this is Tiger's fault. If he had a special phone with all these girl's phone numbers locked in a safe, his wife would've never found out and wouldn't had beaten him up on Thanksgiving. I'll never get caught cheating on my girlfriend or wife. I'm going to be like James Bond when I cheat. I'm going to wear special shoes to sneak out of the house at night when she's sleeping. I'm going to have a monitor that alarms me when she wakes up and doesn't see me in bed. That's when I rush back to the house with my rocket propeller backpack and tell her I went to walk the dog, even though we don't have a dog. I'll keep every girl's phone number stored in a secret database computer where I can access it at my secret headquarters under the house.