Confessions and Revelations: A poem that rhymes

My parents are always looking in my room.
I wonder if there’s urinals in the girl’s bathroom.
I was on the bus and some lady pushed me out of the seat.
My mom still holds my hand across the street.
I met this girl that had a dad tattoo on her lower back.
Last Sunday I caught my church pastor smoking crack.
My dad used to drive me to school in his taxi cab.
My friend went to a rap concert and he got stabbed.
I used to have a crush on little red riding hood.
Am I the only one that thinks that baby food taste good?
My neighbor’s cat just gave birth to four little kitties.
My ex –girlfriend’s mom has some big ass titties.
There are some great female athletes like Serena and Venus.
But some of those WNBA players have a penis.
Paris Hilton is pretty but she’s the least of my worries.
One of my ex girlfriends tried to give me herpes.
When I’m in school I have to change my baby’s diapers every hour.
Who says it’s illegal to pee in the shower.
I’m taking steroids but I don’t think it’s working.
I just found out that my girlfriend is still a virgin.
I starred in an adult movie with a bunch of rookies.
Yesterday I watched Desperate Housewives with some milk and cookies.
In elementary school they wanted to put me in Special Ed.
In a public place babies shouldn’t be breastfed.
My girlfriend said she had an orgasm but I think she faked it.
I almost went blind when I saw my grandma naked.
These high school students are having sex with their teacher.
I’m a pimp because I get more girls than Derek Jeter.
Last night me and my friends were playing truth or dare.
My mom found a white stain in my dirty underwear.
I had a dream that I came to school without my pants.
I’m an A-cup and I want breasts implants.
I haven’t seen my father in awhile.
The police have informed me that my uncle is a pedophile.
I want to have a sex change and become a lady.
I’m not even supposed to be here because I’m a broken condom baby.
My mom and I don’t even talk.
I was raped while taking my dog out for a walk.
All my friends are computer hackers.
I only go to church for the wine and crackers.
I think my boyfriend is cheating but I’m afraid to ask.
Should I shave or should I wax?
My boyfriend always beats me up.
My alarm clock never wakes me up.
I went to this party last night and everyone was on ecstasy.
My girlfriend talks more on her cell phone than she does to me.
I like playing videogames with Sonic and tails.
I don’t pray, I send God e-mails.
I hate couples that make noise when they kiss.
Should I wear shoes or sneakers to the gynecologist?
I think I’m pregnant because my period is late.
I never feel guilty when I masturbate.
I found out that my girlfriend is not fifteen, she’s ten.
Hell is much more fun than heaven.
I did all the work I’m going to pass that class with an A.
He matches his clothes I think he’s gay.
This girl I like told me that she only likes girls.
Well I’m a lesbian too because I only like girls.
I got sunburn from sleeping on the beach.
I can get drunk even on Clorox bleach.
I hate it when I step on poo.
Innocent people go to jail too.
Girl, last night I rode him like a horse.
Our marriage is on the rocks, I want a divorce.
He’s picking me up tonight but I don’t know what to wear.
Come on, your not human if you don’t have butt hair.
This cold weather is making my nose runny.
A vending machine stole my money.
My husband is always burping, snoring, and farting.
I drink juice right out of the carton.
I vomit a lot so I can be lean.
I hate Bush, the president I mean.