Tampons

When I was younger, my mom used to send me to the store to buy her a box of super ultra-max tampons. That was always embarrassing because some kids from my school would see me coming from the store carrying a box of those super ultra-max tampons and they’d say, “Look guys he bought tampons. He’s on his period.” I’d say, “These are not for me, they’re for my mom.” But those little bastards didn’t believe me. They’d say, “Yeah right. Those tampons are for your vagina. He’s bleeding, he’s bleeding, he’s bleeding. Hahaha.” I don’t know what those kids were talking about. I wasn’t bleeding and I didn’t have a vagina. I was really mad. I didn’t like people making fun of me and my mom’s tampons. I wanted revenge. So, the next day I bought myself a gun and shot all of those kids. That’s what they get for laughing me and my mom’s super ultra-max tampons.
I hated buying tampons for my mom. Every store I went to they thought the tampons was for me. One time I went to this deli grocery store to buy tampons for my mom, the store owner thought I was a lesbian. “But I’m a boy.” I tried to convince him. I even pulled down my pants to show him proof but he still didn’t believe. I’m never buying tampons for any woman again. If my girlfriend wants me to buy her tampons, I’m going to tell her, “Hell no. Why don’t you just use paper towels. They’re good too.”

Homeless guy needs a date

I saw one of the most unusual things the other day. I saw a homeless guy trying to get a date. If you’re homeless, the last thing you should be thinking about is trying to find a date. Nobody’s going to date you when you have no money or a cell phone. I don’t care if you have a dvd player in your cardboard box, girls are not going to date you if you’re homeless. This homeless guy was not only looking for a date, he was looking for sex. He approached these girls and said, “Hey ladies. Which one of you wants to suck my dick?” One of the girls got offended and said to him, “Get out of here you bum. Go brush your teeth.” The homeless guy got mad and punched her in the face. I felt sorry for the girl. She didn’t deserve to get punched in the face, but the homeless guy had a reason. You should never insult a homeless person. Telling a homeless person to go brush their teeth is like spitting in the face of a pit bull. You’re bound to get hurt. Despite that, the girl still went on a date with the homeless guy. That girl is crazy.