Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Celebrity Thankfuls

With Thanksgiving just a couple of days away, celebrities are giving thanks and sharing the things they're thankful for this year. Here are some celebrity thankfuls:

Lady Gaga

"First, I'm thankful for Madonna letting me copy her style from the 80's. I'm also thankful for all the fans buying my album and wearing earplugs while listening to it. And last but not least, I want to thank myself for being such a talented male singer."

Megan Fox

"I'm thankful for my role in Transformers because if it wasn't for that movie, I'd be another socialite like Kim Kardashian. I'm also thankful for all my fans supporting and standing by me as I said some of the dumbest things in the history of entertainment ."

Taylor Swift

"I'm thankful for Kanye West interrupting my award acceptance speech at the VMAs. If he hadn't done that, nobody in the world would know who the hell I am."

Cast from Twilight

"We're thankful for teenage girls making vampire movies popular again. Of course we know that these teen girls go to see our movie mainly because of Robert and Taylor. But we don't give a shit because they are putting money in our pockets."

Alex Rodriguez

"I'm thankful for Kate Hudson being my lucky charm in finally winning the World Series. I'll try to stay with her and not cheat on her so the Yankees can win more championships."

Miley Cyrus

"I'm thankful for performing around a stripper's pole at the Teen Choice Awards. I look forward to pursuing a career in stripping very soon. I'm also thankful for leaving Twitter because there were a lot of pedophiles following me."

Lil Wayne

"I'm thankful for having my 10th child this year. I'm also thankful for all the fans downloading my music even though they can't understand a word I'm saying."

Chris Brown

"I'm thankful for not serving a long jail sentence for hitting Rihanna. I would've been the abused bitch in jail. I'm also thankful Rihanna didn't hit me with her umbrella."

Tila Tequila

"I'm thankful for the internet because it allows me to get naked, drunk, and rant about things people don't give a fuck about. I'm also thankful for dumping Shawne Merriman. Just because everybody wants to punch me in the face, it doesn't give him the right to do it."

Carrie Prejean

"I'm thankful for my sex video potentially being released on the internet because I'm not going to become famous from just writing a dumb book."

Levi Johnston

"I'm thankful for getting Sarah Palin's daughter pregnant and hopefully becoming the next Brad Pitt. I'm also thankful for not showing my little Johnston in Playgirl. I don't want the ladies to laugh at me."

Oprah

"I'm thankful for ruling television and the world. I'm also thankful for my mind control powers which made celebrities like Whitney Houston, Mike Tyson, and Mackenzie Phillips reveal their deepest, darkest secrets on my show."