Saturday, February 14, 2009

T and A


The most important thing on Valentine's Day is not the flowers and candy, it's T and A. Tits and Ass. Two of the most beautiful words in my porn dictionary. Everybody loves Tits and Ass. They're our new national pastime. How can you not love Tits and Ass? Those are the two best things in the world next to pussy. Everywhere you look, Tits and Ass are there. On TV, on the internet, on your bed. It's like they're following you around everywhere you go. And when you see them, you get horny and jerk off. Even in public. What makes Tits and Ass so magical? I'll tell you.

Let's start with Tits. Tits have been in our face since we were toddlers. That was our introduction to them. As we grew older, we saw them on TV and in magazines. They made us reach our first orgasm when we were nine. Tits became magical to you when you saw them up close and personal by a girl other than your sister. That changed your whole life right there. From that point on you swore that one day you'll get your hands on them and even suck them if you have the chance. When you're a grown man, you've studied Tits so much that you know whether a girl's breasts are real or fake. You don't even need X-ray vision to figure it out. Next to your dog, Tits become your best friend and they are more special than anything on this earth.
Tits are beautiful because they come in different shapes and sizes. Almost like fruits. Some girls have Watermelon Titties, while other girls have Appleseed Titties. Just like any fruit, you want to suck those Titties and nibble on those hard nipples. It's hard to resist sucking on a Titty when it's in your face and staring at you like a puppy that wants to be petted. If you don't want to suck Titties when they're in your face, you can always box them like a punching bag. When we don't have Titties in our face and sucking them like grapefruits, they're hiding in a fuckin' bra. The bra is the worst invention ever. Whoever invented it should rot in hell. Fuck the bra! But sometimes it is hot to look at a girl wearing a bra because those Tits look like they're playing hide n' go seek. Some look like they're going to pop out. The sexiest part of the Titty is the nipple. When girls are wearing tight shirts or blouses, you can see the nipples pointing through. That's so sexy. It makes you want to jerk off even harder.

Now Ass doesn't have the aura that Tits have, but it does have the presence. As little kids, we were taught that our Ass was dirty and we should always wash it. We were spanked on our ass as toddlers. As adults, people make fun of our Ass. But the Ass is unique. Like Tits, Ass comes in different shapes and sizes too. Some look like basketballs, and some look like beach balls. Some girls can make their Ass jiggle, and some can make it bounce. Some can even make it clap like two hands. The best part of Ass is the strength. Some Asses can be soft like a pillow. Others can be hard enough to break your dick. When you see a girl wearing a thong or underwear, you want to smack that ass. It looks so good. When you see a girl with a big Ass, you want to tear that Ass up. You want to destroy it like it's a Supervillain. Those delicate butt cheeks are calling for a slapping. The dirty part of the Ass is the Asshole. Even though you can't see it when a girl is wearing clothes or underwear, you can only imagine.

Both Tits and Ass are important things in our world today. There should be a holiday honoring both. Until then, T and A reign supreme over everything, except Vagina. Hail T and A!


Big Wet Tits! Just how I like them.


Big Oily Ass. Yummy to my tummy.