Warning: The following content may be too funny to read. Viewer discretion is advised.The Greatest Horror Movie Serial Killer Of All-Time
Who is the greatest Horror movie serial killer of all-time?
This may be the toughest question to answer since the question "Is Michael Jackson Black or White?" There have been many great horror movies with great serial killers. Some of them include the mysterious tape in the Ring, death in Final Destination, and Lindsay Lohan in Herbie Fully Loaded. Alright, I know Herbie Fully Loaded wasn't a horror movie and Lindsay Lohan wasn't a serial killer in it. But I do know people who did die from watching that horrible movie. So technically, that movie is a horror movie and Lohan's performance in that movie killed hundreds of people who watched it. Therefore Linday Lohan is a serial killer. Anyway, there are six main serial killers who come to mind when we think of horror movies. They are:
Freddy Krueger
(Nightmare on Elm Street)
Able to kill you in your own dreams, Freddy Krueger is one of the scariest and ugliest horror movie serial killers of all-time. With his Wolverine claws, Cosby sweater, and Indiana Jones hat, Freddy Krueger killed many people through their dreams in Nightmare on Elm Street. But he was funny in doing it. He's the only comedian I know who really "Killed".
Jason Voorhees
(Friday the 13th)
Jason is one of my favorite horror movie serial killers for two reasons: One is that he always chased half-nude teenage girls through the woods. This was my favorite part of the movie because as a little kid I enjoyed seeing teenage girl boobies. Second, Jason was versatile in the weapons he used to kill. He could kill with an axe, or a machete, or a chainsaw. There was one Friday the 13th movie where he killed this girl with a sheet of Loose leaf paper. He paper cut her to death.
Michael Myers
(Halloween)
Before there was O.J. Simpson, there was Michael Myers. Michael Myers could kill three people at the same time just with a Kitchen knife. Myers made the kitchen knife a popular utensil in America. He inspired many Kitchen knife infomercials. He also inspired O.J. Simpson to retire from the NFL and kill his ex-wife and her male friend. Thanks a lot Michael Myers.
Ghostface
(Scream)
Ghostface is a serial killer from the Scream movies. More than one person dresses up as Ghostface and kills people in the Scream films. The Ghostface costume is made up of half ghost, half grim reaper. Many kids on Halloween dress up as Ghostface. Many of them then disappear.
Chucky
(Child's Play)
Chucky is a doll inhabited by the soul of a serial killer. Chucky attempts to transfer his soul back to a human body, his toy keeper who is a child. When he is unsuccesful at doing that, he tries to kill the child and anyone who stands in his path. Chucky made me fear dolls as a little kid. I was scared to have my parents buy me a Cabbage Patch kid because I thought it might try to kill me. But I got over my fear of dolls. I started collecting Barbie dolls soon after.
Jigsaw
(Saw)
Another one of my favorite horror movie serial killers, Jigsaw is a dying man who entraps his victims in deadly devices and scenarios which are "games" for the victim to figure out how to pass. The rules of the game are recorded by Jigsaw on an audio or video tape for the victim to listen to. The victim usually self mutiliates themself in order to get out of the trap. Jigsaw has a doll or puppet that antagonizes his victims with his voice. I sure wouldn't want to be in one of Jigsaw's traps. I'd rather get gang banged by a bunch of senior citizens than be in one of those traps.
Who out of these six horror movie serial killers above do you think deserves to be crowned "The greatest horror movie serial killer of all-time"? Vote below and decide.
HAVE A SAFE HALLOWEEN BITCHES!
This may be the toughest question to answer since the question "Is Michael Jackson Black or White?" There have been many great horror movies with great serial killers. Some of them include the mysterious tape in the Ring, death in Final Destination, and Lindsay Lohan in Herbie Fully Loaded. Alright, I know Herbie Fully Loaded wasn't a horror movie and Lindsay Lohan wasn't a serial killer in it. But I do know people who did die from watching that horrible movie. So technically, that movie is a horror movie and Lohan's performance in that movie killed hundreds of people who watched it. Therefore Linday Lohan is a serial killer. Anyway, there are six main serial killers who come to mind when we think of horror movies. They are:
Freddy Krueger
(Nightmare on Elm Street)
Able to kill you in your own dreams, Freddy Krueger is one of the scariest and ugliest horror movie serial killers of all-time. With his Wolverine claws, Cosby sweater, and Indiana Jones hat, Freddy Krueger killed many people through their dreams in Nightmare on Elm Street. But he was funny in doing it. He's the only comedian I know who really "Killed".
Jason Voorhees
(Friday the 13th)
Jason is one of my favorite horror movie serial killers for two reasons: One is that he always chased half-nude teenage girls through the woods. This was my favorite part of the movie because as a little kid I enjoyed seeing teenage girl boobies. Second, Jason was versatile in the weapons he used to kill. He could kill with an axe, or a machete, or a chainsaw. There was one Friday the 13th movie where he killed this girl with a sheet of Loose leaf paper. He paper cut her to death.
Michael Myers
(Halloween)
Before there was O.J. Simpson, there was Michael Myers. Michael Myers could kill three people at the same time just with a Kitchen knife. Myers made the kitchen knife a popular utensil in America. He inspired many Kitchen knife infomercials. He also inspired O.J. Simpson to retire from the NFL and kill his ex-wife and her male friend. Thanks a lot Michael Myers.
Ghostface
(Scream)
Ghostface is a serial killer from the Scream movies. More than one person dresses up as Ghostface and kills people in the Scream films. The Ghostface costume is made up of half ghost, half grim reaper. Many kids on Halloween dress up as Ghostface. Many of them then disappear.
Chucky
(Child's Play)
Chucky is a doll inhabited by the soul of a serial killer. Chucky attempts to transfer his soul back to a human body, his toy keeper who is a child. When he is unsuccesful at doing that, he tries to kill the child and anyone who stands in his path. Chucky made me fear dolls as a little kid. I was scared to have my parents buy me a Cabbage Patch kid because I thought it might try to kill me. But I got over my fear of dolls. I started collecting Barbie dolls soon after.
Jigsaw
(Saw)
Another one of my favorite horror movie serial killers, Jigsaw is a dying man who entraps his victims in deadly devices and scenarios which are "games" for the victim to figure out how to pass. The rules of the game are recorded by Jigsaw on an audio or video tape for the victim to listen to. The victim usually self mutiliates themself in order to get out of the trap. Jigsaw has a doll or puppet that antagonizes his victims with his voice. I sure wouldn't want to be in one of Jigsaw's traps. I'd rather get gang banged by a bunch of senior citizens than be in one of those traps.
Who out of these six horror movie serial killers above do you think deserves to be crowned "The greatest horror movie serial killer of all-time"? Vote below and decide.
HAVE A SAFE HALLOWEEN BITCHES!
posted by maccorley at 12:36 AM
5 comments
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